Through My Brothers' Eyes (continued 2)

I looked at the kids and the lady in the blue dress with the disgusted look on her face and wondered, “How on earth can I fit in?” They all looked at me; I was in their territory. I was the outsider, the new kid, and everyone knew it. I guess we’ll see, ma’am.” I said, finally finding my voice and hoping it sounded more confident than I actually was.

Again she smiled. With her stare still fixed on me, she said to one of the kids watching the little drama, “Langston, come up here and help Mr. Miller find a seat.”

I heard  footsteps as someone  walked toward me. I was still looking at the lady in the blue dress, like some poor animal stuck in the lights of an on-rushing truck who knew its own doom was coming directly at it. I could not move. I was stuck in the twilight zone, unable to stop staring at her. I was transfixed until I felt someone tugging at my sleeve.

“C’mon. Hey, c’mon.” I was shaken back to the moment. No longer paralyzed, I turned and looked at the boy who had tugged on my shirt. Unlike the rest of the class, he was the same color as me. He was a Negro, and about my height, which was short. I mumbled something unintelligible and allowed him to guide me to the back of the classroom; I noticed there were several empty seats there, while all the rest of the desks in the room were occupied.

“Hi,” I mumbled to him as we maneuvered through the rows of desks to the back of the class. He didn’t respond but kept walking just in front of me. About two-thirds of the way to the empty desks he slowed down and stared at a rather large kid, a large white kid. He turned and glanced back at me, shot a look at the big white kid again, then looked back at me and quickly stepped past him, almost hopping. This little episode took only a split second, but I got it. Just as I was about to walk past the big white kid, the boy suddenly stuck his foot out. Had Langston not warned me, I would have tripped and fallen right there, right on my face in front of everyone. Fortunately for me that didn’t happen. I skipped over his foot just as he stuck it out. I didn’t bother to look at him; I just kept walking, following Langston.

When we reached the back of the room Langston nodded toward a desk just in front of him. I returned the nod and quickly sat down at the empty desk, noticing that no one sat next to me or him. Sitting  at my new desk I sighed and then realized everyone in the room was staring at me, all those faces seemingly floating in front of me watching, staring, including the face of the lady in the blue dress. They had all seen the dramatic little scene unfold and I wondered about their thoughts. I knew I was being sized up; I realized it instinctively. I thought to myself, I may be the new kid, but I am not a dummy. I hope they realized that.”

As they  turned around to face the front of the room, and the lady in the blue dress was again busy at her desk,  I heard a voice:

“That big kid, the one that tried to trip you, his name’s Jerry. He’s tough. Be careful. You’ll see him at recess rough-housing around. He’s a bully. That boy in front of him is his flunky. He’s Glenn. He ain’t much when Jerry ain’t around.” Langston whispered this in my ear. I sat in front of him, leaning back as he leaned forward so only I could hear him. Since no one was sitting next to either one of us I was comfortable listening to him. “There are a couple of nice kids, but they only talk to you if Jerry ain’t around.” I looked at the big white kid and could see that he was much bigger than me. A dirty sweat stain ran around the collar of his t-shirt, which fit snugly around his thick neck. The once white t-shirt clung to his back from sweat. The way he looked and acted was an immediate threat to me. I was frightened about how to handle this situation. I was small and wondered what I could do to avoid any trouble.

The room was warm from the sun streaming in windows that ran the width of one side of the classroom. I noticed the sleeves of his dirty t-shirt were stretched by the size of his arms. There was no question this was a big, big kid. I would have to be alert. I had no protectors in this school as I had had at my old one. No cousins, or brother, or friends, or sister to shield me from whatever I was going to have to face.This was going to be a difficult test. I’d have to have a long talk with my older brother Pete. He was in high school and had far more experience about this kind of thing I did.

I glanced around the room and was relieved that I was no longer the focus of attention. When the lady in the blue dress stood up the sound of her chair scraping against the floor startled me. As she straightened and started to speak, the classroom door suddenly opened and a boy walked in. He strode quickly, with quite a bit of confidence, and walked directly to where the lady stood. The entire time from the moment he entered the room he smiled a really big smile. He nodded at some of the kids, who evidently knew him. His easy manner seemed infectious. Even the lady in the blue dress smiled openly at him. It was certainly not the grimace she had given me.

“Good morning, Mrs. Connor. How are you this morning?” The boy  was jaunty even in the way he spoke to the lady in the blue dress, who now had a name.

“Good morning, Jimmy. I’m fine thank you. What brings you to my class this morning?”

Without hesitation he answered her, almost interrupting her question. “The office sent me to pick up a new kid and take him to Miss McDade’s class.  Here are the papers they told me to give you.” The boy looked around at the kids with his broad, open smile; he was clearly comfortable and confident. “They said his name is Arthur Miller. Is he in here somewhere?” He looked around the room and quickly spotted me. “Are you Arthur?” The teacher looked at him, then slowly followed his line of sight to me. The smile she had on her face when looking at the boy with the big smile melted to that now familiar and terrible grimace she had reserved just for me.

(to be continued)